A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Marriage & Romance
#herofail is what one mom called it when her husband scheduled a series of surprise romantic dinners on Thursday nights, not realizing that’s when she holds the “transportation (kids)” card for their daughter’s play rehearsals. Her husband’s heart was in the right place, but this card (like all of ’em) takes Conception, Planning, and Execution—emphasis needed on the Planning in his case. This cardholder might be the one who, for example, initiates a regular date night (on a night that works!). Planning for kid-free time can feel like a logistical nightmare (scheduling a sitter, coordinating calendars, and agreeing on details), but cardholders who pull it off report it’s well worth it.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
You have a partnership
Planning
- Conceiving of thoughtful gestures for your spouse (gifts, cooking a meal, a note, flowers)
- Ensuring that time is set aside for just the two of you on a regular basis
- Scheduling date nights, including making dinner reservations, show tickets etc.
- Scheduling couple-only trips with “Travel” cardholder
- Planning time for intimacy
Execution
- Executing consistent opportunities for family fun
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Is there a reasonable effort made to maintain you and your partner’s connection?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.