A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Gifts (Family)
Gift giving is not about buying something because a date on the calendar compels you to. When you get it right, it’s about connection and appreciation. The Magic here lies in finding gifts and writing cards that will make your family members feel special when a holiday, graduation, birthday, or any other occasion comes around. So the next time you see a card with a message that would resonate with your child, you might purchase it even though his or her birthday is a few months away.
Tip! Re-deal as needed so you don’t have to buy birthday gifts for yourself.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
You give gifts to family members
Planning
Exception: Cards/correspondence for extended family, parents, and in-laws stay with those “Extended Family” and “Parents & In-Laws” cardholders.
- Noting occasions (birthdays, holidays, Mother’s/Father’s Day) and people (children, parents, aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc.) that may require gifts
Execution
- Purchasing birthday cards and presents (having children/partner sign)
- Wrapping presents
- Shipping gifts if necessary
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are thoughtful gifts given at the appropriate times?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.