A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Extracurricular (Kids; Non-Sports)
Let’s say your daughter begs to be in the school play—with rehearsals on the same days that she already has Girl Scouts. This cardholder must sleuth out what the extracurricular commitment entails and how to juggle it within the context of the family calendar.
Note! This card pairs with the “transportation (kids)” and “packing (local)” cards. Meaning, if you register your daughter for Girl Scouts and also sign her up for the school play, you are responsible for coordinating how she will get to and from both events with both her costume and cookies in hand.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
Kids extracurricular activities
Planning
- Determining child's desired activities
- Researching all activity options (0-2: baby music, gymnastics, and play groups; 2 and up: variety of options)
- Surveying child's friends to see if child can participate with friends (in consult with “Friendship” cardholder)
- Determining practice schedules if applicable
- Managing at home practice and preparation and/or arranging for additional support/coaching (consult with “Tutoring/Coaching” cardholder)
- Reviewing schedule and consulting with “Calendar Keeper”, “Transportation (kids)”, “Tutoring and Coaching”, and “Showing Up & Participating” cardholders
- Arranging for transportation
Execution
- Signing up and registering for activities
- Purchasing/storing/updating items for activity
- Packing necessary items in bag for practice (including water bottle and snacks)
- Volunteering when necessary (snack sign-up, work backstage, etc.)
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are you fostering your goals for your children which may include friendship, life skills, healthy competition, coordination, and brain development? Is it consistent enough for your kid to be enriched by the experience (meaningful exposure) and are they demonstrating improvement?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- It’s a Daily Grind: relentless and time-bound. Make sure each of you holds a fair share of these, ideally one from each suit.
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.