A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Extended Family
Someone’s got to remember to call Great-Aunt Mary on her ninetieth birthday. Same goes for scheduling playdates with cousins if you want the kids to have a relationship (even if you’re the one who always ends up doing the two-hour round-trip drive). Depending on how much you and your partner value this card, this CPEer might plan frequent get-togethers with relatives or just be the one to remember to invite Uncle Norman to Thanksgiving dinner, knowing full well he’ll have one too many drinks and talk politics all night.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
Your kids make mistakes
Planning
- Staying apprised of health, financial concerns and lives of extended family
- Deciding whom to see and planning dates/scheduling family dinners, visits, and reunions
Execution
- Key milestone/time of year/illness calls and correspondence: birthday, holidays, graduations, illness/hospital visits, etc.
- Implementing extended family plans
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Is there a quality relationship with your extended family?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.