A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Childcare Helpers (Kids)
It takes a village, and you’re fortunate if your village includes a nanny, babysitter, family caregivers, or others who pitch in with the kids. It can be a lifesaver to have the help, but it still requires someone to Conceive and Plan before Nanny Poppins or Grandma Shirley shows up to help Execute. They don’t magically appear when we want them to, so schedules need to be managed, along with payment, delegation of responsibilities, and ongoing communication. Heads up: When your helper cancels or quits, this cardholder is not necessarily the one who drops everything. Rather, engage in Fair Play immediately to re-deal the applicable cards, for example, “Transportation (Kids)” and “Watching.”
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
Someone needs to be able to help with the children
Planning
- Discussing with stakeholders what is needed for the home at this stage of life
- Sourcing if not family (websites/word of mouth/agency)
- Transportation concerns: car seats, boosters, etc.
- Interviewing (scheduling, conducting, reference checking)
- Scheduling days they will be working
- Planning terms, including payment – hourly vs. salary, on or off the books, determining payment vehicle/employer
Execution
- Hiring (negotiating terms/contract)
- Ongoing communication & supervision
- Making payments
- Purchasing/providing meals & snacks for helper
- Reimbursing: Gas, meals, & other termination issues
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Will they show up when you need them, know what they are supposed to do and are paid on time?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- It’s a Daily Grind: relentless and time-bound. Make sure each of you holds a fair share of these, ideally one from each suit.
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.