A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Bedtime Routine (Kids)
It can be super rewarding when nighttime includes bonding over the day’s events, cuddling like nobody’s business, or lying quietly with your precious child. Not so much when this routine becomes a battle over bedtime. Pleas for just one more glass of water or five more minutes of reading can test your patience and fortitude (no wonder Go the F**k to Sleep is a bestselling book). While one person needs to take the CPE lead, the other is not home free (i.e., this is not an ideal window of time for you to hit the couch and start flipping channels). Your collaboration is encouraged. Try this: One partner holds the “bathing and grooming (kids)” card to get the party started while the other is responsible for jammies, stories, and lights out. Keep in mind that this routine won’t last forever. Before you know it, your babies will be teenagers, and you’ll be going to sleep long before them.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
The kids need to go to sleep
Planning
- Encouraging reading or quiet activity before bed
- Coordinating with “Bathing & Grooming (Kids)” cardholder to follow their lead on routine schedule
Execution
- Enforcing lights-out policy at particular time
- Reading with kids
- Bringing kids to the bathroom
- Filling bedside water glass
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are the kids calm before bed and well-rested?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- It’s a Daily Grind: relentless and time-bound. Make sure each of you holds a fair share of these, ideally one from each suit.
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.