A card from Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Grooming & Wardrobe (Player 2)
Imagine a conversation that starts innocently enough with a husband asking his wife, “Babe, where’s my black suit?” Then comes, “Never mind. Found it.” (Pause.) “Shoot, it doesn’t fit anymore.” And the coup de grâce is that their best friends’ wedding begins in one hour, and the clock is ticking while he blames his wife for failing to buy or rent him a new one. This scenario is all too common, as many women in hetero cis gender relationships CPE this card for their husbands. That’s right, grown men told me they rely on their wives not only to help them get dressed for special events but also to schedule haircuts, hem their pants, and replace their underwear with holes. If that truly works for you both, God bless. Otherwise, please consider taking this card for yourself, mister. You can do it.
Holding this card means owning all three
Conception
You need to be presentable
Planning
- Looking through own current wardrobe
- Determining which clothes still fit and which might be outdated or worn out
- Creating a list of clothing needs whether it be seasonal or by occasion
- Evaluating underwear, socks, shoes, belts, and other accessories
Execution
- Donating wrong size, outdated, worn-out items
- Shopping for necessary items
Suggested Minimum Standard of Care
Are you in charge of your own clothes and do you have appropriate clothes for all occasions? Do you feel good about yourself based on your expectations? Can you handle this yourself and not ask your partner to do it for you?
A starting point. You and your partner agree the real standard together, and the holder meets it without reminders.
Holding it well
- This card is dealt to each of you. Nobody holds it for their partner.
- The holder owns all of it: noticing, planning and doing. No “just tell me what to do.”
- Agree the Minimum Standard of Care together, then let the holder meet it their way.
- Not working? Bring it to the weekly check-in and re-deal it. Don’t take it back mid-week.
Put this card on your table
Deal it, agree its standard, and see who holds what. Free.